Thats all it takes

All it took was for me to be alone.
Today, i just thought i needed some time for myself. And it really did help. I always thought i hated being alone. But thinking about it, i'm alone most of the time. In my mind i am. So really, it isnt that bad if you actually think about it.
I'm tired actually. I doing this post just so i can practice on my english. HAHAHA. OKAY BYE

Its just me, me and only me.

I've spent too much time obsessing over you and i'm tired. I'm tired of trying to save us over and over again. This is me giving up because i dont have the strength anymore to hold the cracks.
I know i'm more but i'm not anymore and i'll bet you'll just right into the sack.

Go for the gold

I'm afraid its less. Now, more than ever. What am i supposed to do?

You me. You and me, We're all i need.

I've come to realization, how my life has spiraled into this unknowingly, inconsistent however straight line. I see now that i have only been afraid. It's okay to feel incredibly happy for once. And i'm too afraid to be feeling that because then i'll be punished. I'll be punished because i dont deserve this happiness. I really don't. But for once, i want to let go. Just imagine myself on endless green pastures. Lying down on the grass, looking up into the blue sky without having the sun to blind you. Rolling on the ground and find yourself laughing. You sit up and you see flowers, they happen to be your favourite, sunflowers. You run into them and find that the flowers are so big and they're almost the same height as you and you pluck one and smell the joy, you could not have been more happier.
Sometimes i find myself staring at a distance, daydreaming about my simple joys.
The other day i was lying in bed, i was crying, because i never realised how much this person meant to me.
So to my 2 dearest people in the whole wide world, you make everyday bearable for me. And I love you so much.

Bothered

I've sat here for 10 minutes, writing, backspacing then writing again. Frankly, i don't know what to say.
So let me be honest for once.
The compromises i make, the sacrifices, does not equal to yours. The things i do for you, materialistic or not, does not equal to yours. The time i put in to make this work, to make you happy, does not equal to yours.
So tell me now. Are we equal?
Do i deserve you, or do you deserve me?
I'm not happy, i'm not even contented.
So tell me now. Has it been worth it?
I'm done trying. I'm done crying.
I'm done.

When theres nothing to do,

Wishful thinking

So i havent been updating my blog. I dont really have the time plus i dnt really want my life out in the open right now.
Anyway, last weekend was probably the worst weekend i ever had. Everything kinda backfired.
I miss the times when i sat in bed alone, not sad about anything, not happy about anything either. Most nights were empty but the next morning would be another day, another opportunity.
And i'm gonna take a shit.
Anyway, on with my emotional rants. My complains about how unfair this r and s is.
So i guess... in the end, all we have to do is try. Try your best, if he's not giving up then you shouldnt too. Because the next guy that comes along, i promise you, he will give up.