Monday, May 31, 2010

Ignorance

I should have known what was best for me. I was so blinded by this whole fantasy, i stopped using my eyes. I forget the facts.
I guess deep down inside i was waiting. I knew it was coming, i ignored the signs, let myself enter this imagination of what could have been.
It is all but just an imagination, temporary. So why am i wasting my time?
I can't deny that i was happy, but why stay when its almost all gone.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Grow up

So i realised something, that i'm pretty much over protective. Of myself mostly. But is it my fault? I mean. I've gone through the same thing way too many times to let myself fall down and have myself pick me up again.
But maybe for you i'm willing to take the risk though i know it might be the hardest.
The best thing is, i still look at you and feel the same way i did, oh so many months ago.
I'm not the kind who writes down my feelings. This is pretty amazing, even to me.

I'm just updating my blog because i dnt really have anything else to do. So... here.
Anyway, its kinda sad to see that i have only 1 post every month. I have been busy.

This weekend, i'm jammed packed. I got to do some stupid scrapbook plus i've got to finish up my sketchbooks since everythings gonna be submitted by the end of this semester.
I need a fucking new laptop. I feel guilty asking my parents but i dnt knw where to get that kind of money.

I'm kinda really tired right now. I'd like to wake him up and ask him to go home but i just can't you know. He's tired. I'll wake him up later.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Decisions are sometimes hard, but necessary.

So, i've been thinking lately. About me. And others have told me too. Telling me, i can't always be at a halt.
I've decided that perhaps, being alone might not be that bad. I've survived for the past 2 years and i should be able to survive for the next few years.
Yet again, chances are to be given and reality is i'm not 16. I am still young, i'm still 18, perhaps a little more matured? So should i not think this through thoroughly? No one is perfect but still, can't i have better? I am only 18. Is it wrong for me to think that way? Maybe i'm not that pretty. Maybe, i dnt have that stunning body, but i am young. And i havent live long enough to see the fishes in this weirdly enormous ocean.
Though tomorrow might be my last day, at least i know i've tried my best. Perhaps, i should have put in my time and effort in something more guaranteed. But i am about taking risks.
Don't take this personally.
They are... Just... My thoughts.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Life in the unfab lane.

So i havent had much time to update my blog. My blog is pretty much dead. I dnt even think anyone still comes here... So... I dont really know why its still here.
Anyway, I really just wanted to let things out.
I'm having my period, so i'm a little cranky, a little too sensitive and maybe a little too touchy. But i'm really cranky, and i just want to let it out on someone. But i'm really controlling myself and its really exhausting constantly feeling this way. Seriously.
Plus being in design course isn't really a walk in the park. I'm having projects every week. Its tiresome and my back hurts.
Sometimes, he doesn't understand ya knw. Like he just doesnt understand. Its hard to explain. I just feel like shit. It might be my period. But still.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

We are young

So i got into SP like last last week. My first day was on a thursday. What kind of person starts school on a thursday. Anyway, my classmates theyre okay. But theyre forcing me to like study and everything since theyre no fun at all. I mean, when i went into design school, i had this perception that design students are like havoc people you know. Imagine my disappointment.
Anyway, assignments and projects are piling up and i have to put in my 100% effort since every assignment is like an exam since we dnt have actual exams.
But its fun. Everyday is an art lesson.
Okay im too busy bye.